never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
