Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
