it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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