I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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