Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this boner is exhausting
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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