I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Less talking, more tequila
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
