we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
