i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize