No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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