He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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