I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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