is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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