Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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