It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the condom got lost in my hair
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
