i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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