he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
