id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
