he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
