The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The air was thick with penises
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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