OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
