1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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