We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
