bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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