i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
