would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
