Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
