we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
