My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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