take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize