dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
