i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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