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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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