you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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