i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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