You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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