I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
