Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
