I want to make a zoo with you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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