What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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