before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
