ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
