ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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