sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize