My nipple is on Facebook.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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