ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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