It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
