Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
