So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
