Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
