Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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