I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Randomize
