is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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