Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
