I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
