i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
