We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize