OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
