someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i came on her dog
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
