So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
