Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
