would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
