No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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