Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
