ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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