guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
