Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
