I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
