Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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