I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
