I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
