Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
