Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
